Morning

Do you ever ponder things in the morning? Just in the brief moments when you are getting ready for your day – taking a shower, getting dressed, and making sure your hair is presentable enough for public appearance? I often am drawn into deep thought during this portion of my day. Sometimes I find myself just sitting, distracted from my routine, staring off into space, contemplating the questions that form the confusion I call my life. I often find that these early morning thoughts shape what I will linger on throughout the day.

Yesterday morning, my thoughts centered around past sin. As I stood in the shower, the water pouring down over my head hit like the rain of disappointment. Floods of self-loathing engulfed my body, and suddenly I couldn’t handle the fact that I had abandoned God. How terrible I must be! The sin, though previously confessed, held power over me, held me away from God, told me I couldn’t come, or that I must stand afar off. It had formed a wall in my mind. The wall was the reason that I had been struggling so much to form even a small connection with God. The wall was insurmountable, and I had built it.

But then another thought entered in: “God doesn’t think of it like that. He says, ‘As far as the east is from the west, so far have I removed your transgressions from you.’ It’s gone in His eyes. He is not considering it, mulling over it, wishing it wouldn't have happened, wondering why I wasn't more self-disciplined. He's not holding it against me at all. I'm holding it against myself. He's wanting to move forward, desperately. He wants me to know Him, without being hindered by sin; that's why He died to remove it.

It’s gone. I’m the only one pretending it’s still there. I’m the only one giving it power over me. I’m the only one allowing it to keep me “afar” off. He’s calling… in the middle of my morning shower. He wants to send down a rain of grace, the water of renewal. He showers me with mercy, a mercy that is new every morning.

Mercy is falling, is falling, is falling
Mercy it falls like a sweet spring rain
Mercy is falling, is falling all over me
(Lyrics from the song “Mercy is Falling” by David Ruis)

“I remember my affliction and my wandering, the bitterness and the gall. I well remember them, and my soul is downcast within me. Yet this I call to mind and therefore I have hope: Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for His compassions never fail. They are new every morning. Great is Your faithfulness.” Lamentations 3:19-23