Gullible

I never thought I was gullible until today. But I am. In the worst way. Not because I’m easily fooled by others, but because I fool myself. Because I listen to Satan. Because I disregard truth and entertain deception.

This morning as I got ready for work, I packed my mind with lies. One little whisper from Satan turned into an entire network of nothingness that wrapped itself around me from every direction. Though it wasn’t truth, it felt like it held power. The words weaved in and out of my mind, distorting my hope and strangling my joy. Though it wasn’t truth, it called itself by that name. It crept in, introduced itself shyly, and began asking me questions. Thought it wasn’t truth, I let it linger in the living room of my mind. I let it shake the foundations of my faith. I let it ruin another perfectly good morning.

And somewhere deep down I knew I was doing it. I knew I was repeating the same, old morning ritual. I knew I was becoming gullible.

But I didn’t acknowledge it. I didn’t address it. I just tolerated it.

Then God intervened when I got to work. Not because I sought His wisdom. Not because I asked for His truth. I think in a sense He was throwing up His hands saying, “Come on, Kristi. You know better.” I think He was pleading with me to surrender, to find rest, to let His love in.

I opened a daily devotional that I’d brought to the office. It had been sitting on my desk for several days, but I hadn’t yet found time to read the first entry. But God knew that; He knew today was the perfect day for discovery.

The verses at the top were from the New Living Translation, Psalm 119:28-30, and they contained this phrase: “Keep me from lying to myself.”

Whoa! Lord, protect me from self-destructing! Protect me from gullibility, from wandering ears. Keep me from lying to myself.

Truth is, God is drawing me. He wouldn’t give me up for anything. And He aches for my answer to be “yes.” Yes, I will seek You. Yes, I will serve You. Yes, I will saturate myself with your truth. The whole chapter of Psalm 119 is about this very thing – learning and loving God’s truth. Not lying to yourself. Not staying gullible. Not living halfway.

I think I’ll use it as my Sword tomorrow morning when the whispers creep in.