A Short Trip with a Long Straw

Lately, David and I have been sharing sodas. It saves a dollar or two at each stop, and 44 ounces is more than enough when split 2 ways. It’s our way of cutting down on superfluous spending and soda consumption at the same time.

And it’s David’s way of teaching the importance of straw length.

A straw mustn’t be too short. If it does not exceed cup height by at least an inch and a half, it isn’t adequate for soda intake. The drinker may feel as if their straw is about to disappear into the cup while slurping, and with such proximity, their chin may even come into contact with the lid. These are unacceptable.

But with longer straws, enjoying your favorite soda can be worry-free.

Many gas stations offer a selection of straw sizes – shorter straws for smaller drinks and longer straws for larger drinks. I always choose the latter if possible, taking care to meet the minimum length requirements.

Yesterday was no exception. David and I were on a short road trip with his mom and I selected a long straw to accessorize our fountain pop. I knew he would be proud, and it was a cool color to boot – a striking orange that stood a good 3 ½” inches above the lid’s surface.

But several miles down the road, David made an unexpected observation. “Boy, this straw is too long, isn’t it?”

I never knew there was such a thing. With an inner chuckle, I agreed, “Yes, it is long.”

After a couple additional comments on its surprising length, conversation shifted, and his mom and I began discussing clothes, shoes, and hair. However, David was fidgety, and the straw was his closest subject. As we talked, he pulled the straw up and down, up and down through the plastic lid. You know the sound I’m referring to. Up and down, up and down – for several minutes or more. I tried to silence him by placing my hand around his but was unsuccessful.

With the sound of peaked interest in her voice, his mom finally said, “That is a long straw, David. Can I see it?”

And of course, as soon as she had it in her hands, it was gone. Confiscated. Our soda was now strawless, and our conversation much easier to hear. And the best part was watching a 32 year-old man get his “toy” taken away - the straw he claimed was too long.

Apparently there’s an ideal length when it comes to plastic drinking devices. And I would argue there’s an ideal length for road trips too. This one – spontaneous and short – seemed just right for a Sunday afternoon.