Holiness: Carrots and Cheetos

Holiness, holiness is what I long for
Holiness is what I need
Holiness, holiness is what You want from me

Holiness. It’s the desire of my heart. It’s a descriptor of my God. It’s the call upon my life. But holiness is not happening.

When it comes to holiness, achievement is not the crucial factor; effort is. But I’m not even giving it much of that. This morning I wondered why. Why, when it’s the desire of my heart, don’t I follow through and live it out? Why, when it’s the choice that is life-giving, do I follow death instead? Why, why am I not striving for holiness?

I’m tired. That’s the answer I came up with. To strive for holiness requires an alert mind, a persistent effort, and a continual sacrifice. And I’m tired. It’s much easier for me to just “go with the flow.” It’s easier to just choose the thing I want rather than to fight it and replace it with the thing that is better. So I settle for mediocre, or even dreadfully sinful, in order to save my energy, feed my stomach, and sacrifice nothing.

This is easily illustrated in my diet. Take Cheetos and carrots for example - both round, orange-colored foods… one good for me, the other not. When I crave Cheetos, it’s much easier to give in, plunge my hand into the depths of the bag, and retrieve the handful of cheesy, crunchy chips I crave. It’s much easier than comparing them with carrots – contemplating the benefits, fighting my cravings, and overcoming unhealthy temptations. So I do what I want. And have even come to the point where I don’t give much thought to the healthier (or holier) option. I just dig my hand in. No effort, no sacrifice… just dirty fingers and an unhealthy heart.

Ironically, I’m using tiredness as my excuse for not pursuing holiness, when it should be my motivation. If I’m tired, unsatisfied, and weary, should that not tell me that the fillers I’ve been consuming aren’t doing the job? The Cheetos have left me weak, and now, after their consumption, even less likely to choose the healthy alternative offered by carrots. I’m tired so I stick with the routine. I’m tired so I succumb to temptation. I’m tired so I sin.

Truth is I’m tired because I sin. I’m tired because I’m empty. I’m tired because I don’t make choices that I feel good about.

And tired is not a good place to be.

In Deuteronomy 25:17-18, Moses warns the Israelites about the vulnerability of exhaustion. “17 Remember what the Amalekites did to you along the way when you came out of Egypt. 18 When you were weary and worn out, they met you on your journey and cut off all who were lagging behind; they had no fear of God.”

I must not use my weariness as a justification for further sin. I must use it as an incentive for holy living. I must get uncomfortable. I must go beyond where I can reach. I must make effort. For in the midst of this, I will find life… energy… sustenance.

19 When the LORD your God gives you rest from all the enemies around you in the land he is giving you to possess as an inheritance, you shall blot out the memory of Amalek from under heaven. Do not forget!

So take my heart and form it
Take my mind transform it
Take my will, conform it
To Yours, to Yours, O Lord