I want to complain today. I want to point out everything that’s wrong in my life, and downgrade everything that’s right in everyone else’s. I want to have the right to be mad that they have something that I don’t. I want to stomp my feet into the ground, cross my arms, lower my head and say, “It’s not fair!” In fact, 16 years ago, this may have been fairly typical behavior for me. And 16 years ago, I always got the same response. My mom would, without fail, impart these exact words of wisdom… and I hated them so much.
“Life’s not always fair.”
I used to despise these words. I’d mumble them back under my breath, mocking her. Now, they enter my mind as clear as day even though mom’s nowhere in sight. “Life’s not always fair. Life’s not always fair.”
Kari or Angie may get the bigger cookie, someone else will make more money, others will have seemingly flawless relationships, and some, the perfect cookie-cutter lives. I will always be able to look around and complain… if I choose to. Life’s not always fair.
But what makes me think I deserve the better portion, the easier pathway, the greatest success? What makes me so selfish? Can I not enjoy the blessings that others have received, rejoicing alongside them? Why must I demand the same results? Why do I idolize the women who have the perfect body, the love of a man, the ministry of a saint, or the heart of God?
I must stop this selfishness. I must choose thanksgiving over grumbling. I must see God and not man. I must surrender.
After beating my fist into the ground, I need to fall on my face in desperation. In repentance. In worship. Forgive me, Lord, for not loving Your ways. Life’s not always fair. But You are eternally good. And I am eternally Yours. Therein, I have all that I need.
“Life’s not always fair.”
I used to despise these words. I’d mumble them back under my breath, mocking her. Now, they enter my mind as clear as day even though mom’s nowhere in sight. “Life’s not always fair. Life’s not always fair.”
Kari or Angie may get the bigger cookie, someone else will make more money, others will have seemingly flawless relationships, and some, the perfect cookie-cutter lives. I will always be able to look around and complain… if I choose to. Life’s not always fair.
But what makes me think I deserve the better portion, the easier pathway, the greatest success? What makes me so selfish? Can I not enjoy the blessings that others have received, rejoicing alongside them? Why must I demand the same results? Why do I idolize the women who have the perfect body, the love of a man, the ministry of a saint, or the heart of God?
I must stop this selfishness. I must choose thanksgiving over grumbling. I must see God and not man. I must surrender.
After beating my fist into the ground, I need to fall on my face in desperation. In repentance. In worship. Forgive me, Lord, for not loving Your ways. Life’s not always fair. But You are eternally good. And I am eternally Yours. Therein, I have all that I need.
1 comment:
A few thoughts
I believe that proclaiming our feelings are essential. Yes life is not fair maybe that is why scripture tells us to Rejoice IN all things. As we walk in this attitude of rejoicing I think that we experience a heart transformation.
Life is not fair, but I would be willing to bet that there where times when you did get the bigger cookie. Since life is unfair go buy yourself a big cookie or make your own cookies and don't share them.
Have you ever stopped to think that others are probably saying why can't I be more like Kristi?
Just a few thoughts.
Paul
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